Sometimes you find yourself struggling to make the right decision—especially when the outcome feels so important it makes you sick with worry.
Your rational mind tries to calculate every possible scenario, weighing outcomes and running through endless “what ifs.” But the more you think, the more overwhelmed you become. Panic sets in when you can’t find a clear answer to the questions you keep asking yourself. The harder you think, the more lost you feel, as your nerves start to take over.
So, what can you do to calm your mind and make a decision that feels right?
Take a Step Back
You’re giving this situation and its potential outcome immense importance—but how serious is it, really? Will it be the end of the world? Will it ruin your life or severely harm others? Probably not.
Ask yourself:
- How would I handle a less favourable outcome?
- How much impact would a different result truly have on my life?
Try giving it a good night’s sleep (if your restless mind allows it). Or take a rational approach: write down the pros and cons. Putting your thoughts on paper can be a powerful way to clear your head. If this brings you clarity—great!
But if not, it might be time to tune into something deeper.
Use Your Gut Feeling
When logic fails, pick up the “phone” and call your intuition—that deep, quiet voice in your gut. We all have this inner guidance, and it’s rarely wrong. The challenge is we’re often too disconnected from ourselves to hear it.
From an early age, we’re taught to rely on intellect and reason. As a result, we tend to dismiss that inner voice. Yet, I’m sure you’ve had moments where your head overruled your gut, and you later realized your intuition had been right all along.
Here’s the key:
If what you think doesn’t align with what you feel, trust your gut.
Finding Stillness
Of course, calming your mind enough to hear your intuition isn’t easy—especially in a busy city or a hectic life surrounded by noise, people, and responsibilities (even your beloved family).
So how can you give yourself a break and create space for clarity?
There are many ways to quiet your mind. Meditation might sound a little too “airy-fairy” to some, but there are plenty of more grounded approaches to try.
A Simple Relaxation Practice
You don’t need a meditation cushion or chanting. Just find a quiet spot—at home, in a park, or anywhere you can be undisturbed.
- Sit comfortably with your feet flat on the floor and hands resting on your lap. (You can lie down too, but be aware you might drift off.)
- Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Inhale gently through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth.
- Notice the cool air as you inhale and the warm air as you exhale.
- Imagine each in-breath filling you with calm, positive energy, and each out-breath releasing tension, worries, and negative thoughts.
- Repeat until you feel lighter and more relaxed.
If your mind wanders (and it probably will), that’s okay. Just gently bring your focus back to your breathing.
Tuning Into Your Gut
When your mind feels calmer, place your hands on your belly. Think about the decision you’re facing and ask yourself: Does this feel right?
You’ll recognize it when it resonates deeply. If you don’t reach this point at first, don’t worry—like any skill, it improves with practice.
Even Simpler Alternatives
If connecting with your intuition feels out of reach for now, stick with the breathing practice. Or try these:
- Counting breaths: Inhale and exhale, counting “one.” Next breath, count “two,” and so on up to ten. Then start again. This keeps your focus anchored.
- Music therapy: Play calming music that helps shift your state of mind. Choose tunes you don’t associate with specific memories to avoid triggering emotions.
Be Patient With Yourself
Give yourself at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted calm. Don’t expect instant answers or total stress relief. You may need to make it a daily habit—even just 10 minutes can help.
Remember: every session may feel different. Sometimes it will feel wonderfully effective; other times, not so much. That’s normal. Stay open and avoid rigid expectations.
If you enjoy guided meditations, breathing exercises, or relaxing music, I recommend trying the app Insight Timer. It’s a convenient way to relax anytime, anywhere—no need to sign up for a workshop or class.